i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
