whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
