I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
