You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
