At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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