just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
