I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
