It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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