ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
