Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
