yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
