I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
