Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
