i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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