It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
