no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
