I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
