just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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