Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
