we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
