You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
