Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Houston, we have a blender
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
