He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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