Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
