Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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