i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
