I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
