I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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