let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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