planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
