he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
