i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
