There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize