Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
