i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
