Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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