this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
