Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
