if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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