Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
