I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
