you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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