Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
