I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I think I sprained my soul last night
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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