i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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