We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
