We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
