I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
it was like eating out sand paper
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Pooping to opera.
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