He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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