so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
